Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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