I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i will never coherently bang her
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
