I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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