As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
