what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
