the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
