do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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