Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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