I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize