I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
