apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
