walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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