I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
