She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
