I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
