She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
