Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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