I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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