It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
