worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
