Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
