god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
