Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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