I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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