He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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