it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
