so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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