Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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