I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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