i just had sex bonerless
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
