That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
