i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
