Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You may now shotgun with the bride
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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