I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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