Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
