In the future we'll all be gay
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
