I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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