Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
