Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
