Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
