You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
