it hurts more in the daytime
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
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