If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
