went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
