I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
