I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
