what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
