Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
