apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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