My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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